Passivity is not a quiet or unsociable. It matters how we perceive our lives: someone that has to? we wait, when the wind blows change? Deep down, each of us sure act independently. Whether so it, will show our favorite phrase.
Passivity is useful if it helps to go within and to regain strength after injury. But when it becomes a dominant strategy in your life, ultimately it will do more harm than good. The problem is that we don’t often ponder on the subject, considering myself an active person (in the end, we make decisions daily and nobody does it for us), and we don’t notice how obvious our passivity to others. Time and time again they hear from us are phrases that may make only a passive person.
“If destined…”: they entrust their future to fate
Do you consider yourself an optimist, because hope for a miracle? In fact, this is a passive approach to life, which has something to give us. As was said by Shura Balaganov: “We are going, we are full, maybe, where-that we will have happiness.” For that quite reasonably got from Bender’s response: “Maybe it has wings flapping with impatience?” Happiness waits for no one. It should be caught, he had to like it. In this case it is necessary to work and over their lives, and the relationship, even if they are quite safe. Not only to react to emerging problems, but also time to do “preventive maintenance”
“No luck again”: they believe that accidents happen only to them
First, life happens and good and bad. Secondly, it is all literally and without exception. Some part of the trouble obviously stems from the fact that we ourselves did not take care of yourself. In any case, it is important to prevent and minimize losses.
“So, I’m not made for this”: the defeat in the something – for them the final verdict
Imagine, in the life of every person there and defeats, and successes. We just don’t all see. In life successful people these lesions even more. Some defeats were downright deafening, because they threaten on a more global goal. Imagine the journey by car. Sometimes you go without incident, sometimes deflated, and obviously after a certain time you’re low on gasoline. Those things are part of every journey, but definitely not his end. The right attitude to life’s troubles help three qualities: patience, persistence and perseverance.
“Driven by the same people”: they believe that without luck there is no success
Luck is not subject to our control, it is impossible to plan. But there are things in your life in full control only you: preparing, planning time and the amount of work. Concentrate on them, and with luck watch out the corner of my eye as.
Their speech is hesitant
“I don’t know, maybe that’s so.” Hardly a pleasure to listen to this, and this needs to work. Templates can be changed, make a conscious effort to get rid of a lot of introductory words and speak directly.
They are looking for your approval
“Do you mind if I say a few words…”. At the meeting in the midst of discussing when we exchange accurate and quick remarks, suddenly you are acting and say something like that. This in itself reduces the value of what you want to say.
They downplay their own importance
“I’m certainly not an expert, I don’t know, but maybe…” “Maybe I’m wrong, but I think…” to start his speech with the fact that you are wrong, people with you it agree.
It is difficult to determine its position in the dispute
“Of course, each of the proposals has its merits, I’m at a loss to whom to give the preference”. You may think so you minimize the conflict and support both sides, but in fact you seem hesitant and even fearful.
They always put the needs of others first
“I would have probably ordered dessert, but if you want to pay, I wouldn’t mind”. In this statement you imply that your needs will continue to be in second place, and such is the dynamics of your relationship. If you want dessert, say so. If not wanted, it is better not to talk.
They say “Yes” when they would say “no”
“Tomorrow I actually have to get up early, but of course, I’ll take you there”. You don’t want to offend anyone with a refusal, but it does not depend on the failure, and in what form you do it. If you are truly sorry, but I can’t do this today, your refusal will be accepted calmly.