Cute girls will agree that you really like the adage that if man is head, then woman is a neck. I know, I know, most people do. Except, of course, of the men themselves. But now we will speak only indirectly. Only as performers starring in a play titled “Family life”. Because actually, the way it is: a woman really is the wheel that determines where to sail family boat. Only do not hurry to rejoice, it will not go that woman is a captain of the family ship. This scenario is in most cases ends badly. So it is better to forget at once, if you really want to build a normal relationship. Since almost every man aspires to be the captain of your own, including, and family life.
So the ship with two captains, as you can guess, fate is deplorable. And if we continue to unwittingly tucked moreplavatelya context, the woman is the steering wheel and the steering wheel. Moreover, this comparison is combined with the example of “neck-head”: where you will turn the neck back and looks head, where you will turn the ship in that direction and the horizon, which the captain leads his ship.
So why so often we encounter situations when one and the same man with different women behave differently? Yes it is because he is one and the same, but women are different. And he conducts himself with them like a “mirror” themselves, that is, their behavior unconsciously builds up as a response to their actions. Say “what a dependent, spineless, no backbone. Yeah, someone definitely is. But that would be too simple an explanation. And for his sake he shouldn’t even fuss.
However, I’m sure you lovely ladies already understand me. But how many understand how it is that almost drunken at first marriage male in the second turning, say, a successful businessman? And there are such examples. After all, drunk — it is, in fact, a loser. How did it happen? And so happened — just a second wife, unlike the first, understood his great strength and power. No wonder they say behind every great man is a equally great woman. And its impact on man is literally limitless. In fact, it was the woman “makes” a man. Some of the quality it reveals, and some crushes, absorbs and neutralizes.
However, most often it operates unconsciously, using so-called generic scenarios. That is, the experience of his family. And if dad was successful, she unknowingly helps her husband to achieve success — after all, she was the picture before my eyes. And if the dad was a loser, her unconscious behavior in your own family will all lead to a crash.
Understand, I don’t want to shift responsibility from a sick head on the healthy! If a man is self-sufficient, he himself will cope. But, first, with the right woman he would spend less of their strength and of their life together, and secondly, which take as self-sufficient men, at all enough? So, all I want is to remind you how truly incredible power of women. Just as many of them are not aware of it.
Let’s look at what a woman can do to a man. It would influence not only his behavior, but even in character?
Let’s start with the negative influence, and positive left for dessert It would be more logical. And the finish will be much nicer.
Some psychologists say: the wife thinks about her husband, so he becomes. If she sees him only the shortcomings and deficiencies, then over time they multiply like cockroaches. And then even the man that has huge potential to create a wonderful family, dutifully rises in the number of “goats”, “rags” or “males”.
There is a time-tested mechanism: if the wife does not respect her husband, no-one respects him. No! No friends, no colleagues. Often even his family. Figuratively speaking, it writes in invisible ink on his forehead the word that describes it for yourself. And this label automatically start to read the surrounding. All! Was such a nice guy, but as married — has turned into some kind of freak! Familiar? Of course! How many of my friends were among them — do not count.
Or here’s another: if the wife does not trust her husband and does not open his heart, he trusts no one. And no matter how he struggled, to get, say, a promotion at work ! Injected for three, and increase anyone, not just him.
To the same: if the wife is always dissatisfied with everything, all the family members are not satisfied with their lives. Ever met a cheerful man relaxing in children who have a grumpy wife and mother? I don’t.
If the wife believes that her husband could do better, that is the first step towards men’s infidelity. “I’m not enough for you? So I can easily find the one for whom I at the time!”
If the wife is stingy with the manifestation of emotions and wants to warm her husband’s love and care, he finds solace in alcohol and drugs.
If the wife restrict her husband in his small joys (chatting with friends, fishing, and other, unnecessary, in her opinion, family life nonsense), then he goes into the computer games and other really crap. But always with her…
If a woman does not open her husband’s heart, he becomes greedy. And then he in winter snow does not beg, not that flowers on March 8. At the very moment when a woman denying her husband access to his heart, he shuts her access to your wallet.
If the wife is too independent (follows the principle “I Want to make well — make itself”), the husband becomes irresponsible. Even if it is perfectly coped with everything, over time, he seemed to lose this skill, relaxes and fused with the sofa.
If you do not miss a chance to question his authority in the family, constantly arguing and Balk, the husband ceases to be a man, it goes limp and becomes a “no”.
In General, you understand. If the objective will look family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances who know at least a few years, I am sure, will find confirmation of all that.
But there is good news! Remember, I promised dessert? So here it is.
If the wife sees the husband is of good quality and makes them focus, they begin to grow and multiply. Even if it seems to be no reason. That should not have been he to become the chief — but drat! Became.
She trusts him and trust him with other people.
She hides nothing from her husband, and he will never be able to cheat it and/or modify it.
She showers him with manifestations of his love and he will never skimp on the gifts and attentions, as he begins to find reasons to make her happy and to make happier.
She does not challenge his headship — he was delighted to take her under his protection.
And so on. One of my friends, which at that time marriage was disintegrated, told me that one time wondered: what would I be if I were a man? And then, he says, looked at her husband and realized with horror that one just like I did. “Because he lacks masculine qualities just as I do not have enough women. Want to know how they ended? And nothing. Because it is not over. She was smart (and, in fact, love for him and two kids) to change. However, the children they have three.
By the way, since we are talking about children: they are specialists in family relations say: if the husband is not helping with the kids, the first thing a woman should do is honestly answer the question, does she deserve to of the kids loved it along with her? And not herself if she once deprived him of his desire to help, says that ass baby, he washed the bad, and the bottle feeding again boil?
You can endlessly blame all the failures to each other and to look for that mote in another’s eye. And you can have the courage to look into his own. As sung in one song “Aquarium”, logs there’s enough for a decent house. Take them out, and then you will see the light. Then you will see who near you, a man in whom there is a lot of good. Not just the same as you chose in the end! But over time, from domestic problems, quarrels, misunderstandings and other nonsense, eyes are swimming. And you stopped seeing someone who was once important to you all. And then I opened my heart to disappointment. And for him — closed. Is it time to break this vicious circle? Because now you know what to do.