“Love is everything. And all we know about it”
You don’t have to teach about life, right? You are an adult, experienced man and read all this stuff about “building relationships” you to anything. Nevertheless, admit it — sometimes trying to start a new novel, you made mistakes, because of which the relationship ended before it even started.
“Of course, it can happen to anybody — let’s say you’re right. But it does mean that you are immune from such mistakes in the future, even if you recognize them — because as you know, love less all are inclined to think a head.
1. “To those who are nice to me, I don’t like you”
Uncompromising good when choosing a car or material for the construction of houses, however, during the search for a partner, it often only hinders.
And the flip side of this error: “the people I attract, I’m not worthy.”
Of course, different end date in different ways- sometimes people just don’t fit together, but if you live with this setting, your romantic encounters are doomed to failure. Dwell on the unattainable “ideal”, you fall into the trap of their own experiences, believing that you are not interested in attention, even if they are in something different from your imaginary “perfection”.
Uncompromising good when choosing a car or material for the construction of houses, however, during the search for a partner, it often only hinders. Man is not just a trendy gadget that you can take back to the store because “in General satisfied, but the camera resolution is not very good.
This does not mean that you need to try to get to bed everyone, but if you’re a little more lenient and cease to meticulously seek out weaknesses of the potential partner, your chances of developing relationships with them will increase significantly. Understand — people are not perfect, and your “dream man” (or “woman of dreams”) exists only in your head. Just enjoy the human interaction and it is likely that you will succeed.
2. “I need at least some relations
There are people for whom to strike up an acquaintance with the partner is not the problem. The beginning of “disposable” relationships a great way to promote online Dating services, alcohol, or say, karaoke bars — if you are among such seekers, I know there are a lot of ways to spend the night with a barely familiar person. Another thing is that “Casanova” is often can not live without this “romance” — if he has to spend the night alone with his thoughts, panic and frantic attempts to find at least some beloved (or beloved).
Decide what is more important to answer clearly flirting the first counter, not too scrupulous in the choice of partners, or to overcome fear and to approach this (or that) who is hiding a shy smile and keeping his eyes with you, did not dare to speak.
3. “We spend so much time together — let everything remain as before”
Fall into this trap many couples typical of the thinking of the partners like this: “Yes, we like different things, we have different social circle and different attitude to life, but we’re not fighting, so it’s not so bad”. Life is not a Hollywood romance and real breakup more often than not similar to a breakup in the movies, when the former wife of theatre to Express all their grievances, and then one of them (usually the husband) leaves and followed him out of the window flying things.
If each partner tolerates the other, and prefers not to discuss sensitive issues of relationships, there is a risk that after living together for many years, externally (but not internally!) the happy couple will break up. No scandals, threats and dramatic gestures — just one of the spouses get tired of the “quiet family misfortune”.
4. “Always be connected”
Now quite a few times to click on the screen of a gadget to remind the person about himself, so that many, unwittingly, reopen old wounds.
If the above error relationship exist almost as long as the romantic feelings of people towards each other, the habit of constantly to maintain communication appeared relatively recently — with the development of Internet and mobile communications.
For example, in the era of Romeo and Juliet lovers had to go to all sorts of tricks to connect with each other, weeks of waiting for letters from each other and appreciate every spoken or written word. Now quite a few times to click on the screen of a gadget to remind the person about himself, so that many, unwittingly, reopen old wounds.
Like a photo of a former partner on social networks, or scribbling messages in “mental weakness” (usually tipsy), we make ourselves over and over again to plunge into the past feelings. Most often, such “communication sessions” doesn’t come out good, just a waste of time, nerves and unnecessary suspicion on the part of the current “second half”, so try to avoid close contact with exes is long passed stage.
5. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship”
Remember one of the key storylines of the series “Friends”: Ross (David Schwimmer) wants to sleep with Rachel (Jennifer Aniston), and she doesn’t know about it, and he is afraid to admit his feelings for her. It is possible to consider Rachel a bitch who don’t give a guy chance, just writing it in “friends”, but the problem rather lies in the Ross. He does not respect itself, because it does not seek to follow our own desires and not respecting the object of these desires, because he doesn’t want to tell her the truth. In other words, he behaves like a complete idiot trying to get a woman to bed, not telling her that he likes her, in the end, between them and observed the same “friendship you want to preserve.”
Do not look for excuses for inaction under the guise of an imaginary “value of friendship”, if the person you really like, take the chance to lift the friendship to a new level! Even if you will later regret, it is better than a lifetime tormented by doubts: “what if I…?”.