How do we choose a partner? The specific choice of a particular person is unpredictable, but there are evolutionary factors that influence this process, say psychologists.
Psychologist Todd Shackelford, head of the laboratory of evolutionary psychology, Oakland University (USA) and his colleagues analyzed questionnaires of more than 10 thousand women and men from 37 countries. And here’s what they found.
1. Love and high social status
When we choose a partner, you are often faced with an internal conflict – surrender to the will of romantic feelings or to link their fate with a man that can make to our lives comfort and safety? If our feelings are really strong (and genuine), the majority of us are inclined to trust the heart.
2. Emotional stability and physical attractiveness
The opinions were divided. On the one hand, if a person attracts us physically, we are ready to accept the fact that he has mood swings (even when it’s painful impact on the people close to him). At the same time, many of us are willing to accept less attractive partner if he manifests himself as emotionally stable and psychologically happy.
3. Intelligence and family
A person with a high level of education and career success we can forgive the desire to take it slow with family and children. However, if the candidate for our heart will be less educated and successful, but want a family and children, we will also consider it as a potential contender.
4. Easy communication and a common vision
If the person shares our views and interests, his chances greatly increase, even if he’s not too sociable. On the other hand, one who is able easily and naturally to communicate, attracts us and if he never asked what for us is significant.
These four factors are equally illustrate the behavior of both men and women. However, it turned out that women in most cases prefer the social status of the chosen romantic feelings. For them more important is the emotional and psychological stability of men than physical attraction. They also tend to the more intellectually developed partner, forgiving him the desire to have no more than one child. While for men social status, the ability to control their emotions and a sharp mind were less in demand female qualities.
They are still important physical attractiveness, youth (as a guarantee of good health and the possibility of procreation) and a woman’s desire to have children. The study also showed that women are more selective in choosing a partner. One reason for this is probably that in case of a wrong choice, they lose more. Men, by nature, more dominant, and women can potentially pay for a mistake both physically and emotionally.
In addition, women feel a greater responsibility for the future offspring. “Despite the fact that we have sufficient data on how exactly we choose life partners, so we can’t answer the question of what determines our final choice, concludes Todd Shackelford. And he does not always obey the biological and evolutionary laws and even our own conscious desires.” We are looking for a person with certain features in order to fall in love with the complete opposite.
“Our heart lives for some mysterious reason laws. And in this heart the secret probably lies our happiness”