Fighting is not an indication that the partners that something is wrong. The showdown simply means that in a pair there is no trust issues, everyone has their opinions and their ideas.
According to psychotherapist Dr. Gail Salz, if a person dares to Express their opinion, in the end, he will feel himself a victim, he had the impression that partner owe him something. But the partner of this feeling will not arise — because he was in the dark.
So ask yourself the question: “Can I really be myself in a relationship or I’m afraid to Express my opinion?” If so, then you need to change the tactics of behavior.
But you need to remember that not every fight is good. Need to share ideas and not just to argue with name-calling and raising the voice.
5 tips on how to fight productively:
- Accept the fact that the other person’s opinion differs from yours.
- As soon as you feel that you start to get angry, calmly tell your partner that you are not satisfied.
- Don’t say that you will then be ashamed.
- Listen not only himself, but also a partner. Often put yourself in his place.
- Do not change the subject of conversation, not jump from one to another. Your explanation of the relationship is the goal.
Also, couples often find out the relationship, there is a tendency to rapidly put up. Quarrels make their relationship a roller coaster and adds spice.
And, of course, if you are arguing means you care.