Real life for men begins after 40. And brings new joy, of which he is unaware in his youth, says Sergey Buda.
One day my neighbor at the Institute to Dorm, got up as usual, early in the morning out of bed to do the charging, and lay till noon, turning to the wall. In the end I asked what happened to him. With a tragic expression on his face he answered that he was 30 and a full life, in fact, ended. I was 22 or 23 years, and I could not agree more with that statement.
Since then it has been almost three decades. Thirty-year guy for me today boy. And I am convinced that real life for men is not only 30, but begins after 40. And brings a new joy, which man does not suspect his youth.
Not making love one
About this advantage of male over 40 years of age many years ago said the tireless leader of the Rolling Stones Mick Jagger. He admitted that when he was younger, the day passed without having to put any fan into bed and felt lost. And this is not something that was less just, to the surprise of Mika, it was found that in adult life men and without continuous making love is a lot of interesting things.
When making love ceased to be self-sufficient and is associated, as often happens at the age of 40, with the constant partner, he is not pushing stupid (in adolescence, they are called “romantic”) behavior, and life becomes much easier.
…although it also
For men over 40 making love ceases to overshadow other goals in life, but that doesn’t mean that his making love for life is getting poorer. On the contrary. It’s like comparing two people, who were given a glass of good cognac. Who gets more pleasure — the one who will drink in one gulp, or the one who’s going to roll each SIP in your mouth? The answer is obvious.
A pleasant discovery for me was the fact that when you’re over 40, “tempt”, as they said in prehistoric times, a woman is much easier. Girls are impressed by that in the process of wooing her you are confident and therefore do not suit the scenes of jealousy, do not require daily declarations of love, etc. are Not concerned with what women call “ruffled nerves”. Well, with older partners, for whom love is first and foremost a theatre (just for 40 years you will understand), you already have considerable experience in this field, to play the role that they’re looking for.
Healthy mind — healthy body
In the days of my youth male aged over 40 years on the treadmill stadium, in the swimming pool or the courtyard of the horizontal bar usually evoked ridicule — say, and what, you old bastard, climb. Now the opposite is true. However, when you’re over 40, you must teach yourself to react calmly to the fact that those who are now over 20, and on the track will overtake you, and on the bar more times will catch up. But here you have in front of them a distinct advantage. Who knows, I will not drink these young athletes when SIP life’s challenges, and go all their current fitness of ashes? Do you, when you are over 40, psyche is much more stable than they have, and, accordingly, the probability of failure much smaller. In part because, by the way, you have been through these failures, as a rule, passed.
As for the results (well, men love to compete, nothing can be done), they are young and, well, adults are different only at the highest level. And that is not too. For example, the unofficial world record in running on a distance of 10 km at the age of 40-44 years is different from the official world for a few minutes. I’m not talking about professional Boxing where a boxer for 40 years, practiced 12 rounds is a common phenomenon.
And a hundred friends
Here money at the age of 40 just not necessarily all good. A couple of decades ago, I would say that just by this age, people finally masters the profession and, accordingly, receives a steady high salary or income from your business. But now these rules do not work, and not only us, but all over the world. Today it is possible to become a millionaire from scratch in 25 years and losing everything in more than 40.
But there’s good news: after 40 changing attitude to money. First, by this age, the main expenses are made. For example, paid a large part of the mortgage for the apartment or house. Well, after 50 — and even usually behind the cost of maintenance and education of children. In addition, at this age, you’re not trying to improve their emotional state at the expense of exotic travel, expensive feasts, shopping and stuff. For the reason that you already know: you can’t escape yourself and happiness money can not buy.
As for friends, the situation with them after 40 years is changing quite strongly. A friendship that seemed in his youth is eternal decay. But having a new friendship based on common beliefs, interests, and experience of past years. They make far less emotion than in his youth, but it makes them stronger. Oh, and incidentally, the advice to the young: learn to part with their loved ones without scandals of this magnitude, which will make your further communication impossible. Because the best friend, the ex-girlfriend. I, for example, the second ex-wife willingly gave advice how to behave with the third (today, however, the former too).
Work is not a wolf
A few decades ago you could say that 40 years — the typical age of a workaholic. But things are changing. Today, the corporate affection as the highest value exists only in books on management — for the simple reason that the age of the corporations is short. You can arbitrarily faithfully look into the eyes of the chief and remain in the workplace when he has to go, that he appreciated it. But it is likely that your boss spit on your enthusiasm and zeal, because he was looking for a new job. He just knows that the firm is on the verge of collapse, and you still do not know. And, of course, you won’t tell, as he needs to until he can find a new place, the firm worked like clockwork.
Having been once or twice in this situation, you will calm down and stop jumping on every new work out pants. And believe me, this will benefit both you and work. However, this rule has an exception — if you like my work. But here, the 40-year-old more likely than young people to distinguish, so to speak, this deep sense of love scabies.
My home is my castle
After 40 understand that it really is. That’s just the word “fortress” understand not four brick walls, and all that you do for those 40 years purchased. Your family, your children, your wife (if you have not bothered to marry), your former wives and loved ones, your multiple jobs (I, for example, three times, made a career “from scratch” to a relative peaks in three completely different professions, people you met, and who studied the books that you have read, and movies watched.
Every year of your life, these walls become thicker, and after 40 reaches such a width that traveling around the world desperate to get to you through them almost impossible. But you out of this fortress can look into the distance at the horizon of the future years, as a real strategist, while retaining acquired over the years, the spirit hardened warrior.
And if some wizard asked me to change this fortress on rainbow bubbles second youth, but with one condition — forget all your worldly possessions and start over — I would, remembering all the inevitable turmoil and suffering of his youth, refused.