How to distinguish a harmonious relationship from the destructive?
How to distinguish healthy from unhealthy relationships that have no future? Dependent, toxic, neurotic — name them as you want. The point is that unhealthy relationships don’t bring real happiness, but to be his surrogate. Their perfectly describes the saying “together sick, apart boring”. That is, in fact, being in a relationship people do not get pleasure from them, but the thought of parting also gives them pain. Such relations are fraught with anxiety, vague or clear sense that your interests are not taken into account, they practiced the model, which sooner or later lead to neuroses and psychosomatic disorders. However, sometimes unhealthy relationship with the parties do not appear so, they also have dates, the passion, the honeymoon period, and often no associates, nor even the victim can’t identify that something is wrong. However psychologists distinguish the following disturbing calls, which clearly shows that your relationship is dangerous and unhealthy.
1. THERE IS NO FEELING OF JOY OF FLIGHT
A very obvious symptom that typically characterizes the beginning of a love relationship. In unhealthy relationships the joy to be present at the initial stage, but never lasts long. Warning signs appear soon, first in the innocent joke that you cringe, and later in the ban, he explained that cares about you. These relationships not only inspire, but landed you. There is a feeling that you clipped the wings, deprived of freedom, what you do is not always what you want to do. If the relationship lasts for a long time, sooner or later there is a feeling of emptiness, fatigue and depression. To get out of them over time becomes more difficult because the victim loses the will and the sense of reality.
2. ALL ATTEMPTS TO FIND OUT THE RELATIONSHIP UNCONSTRUCTIVE
For example, suffering from the fact that something goes wrong, you want to talk. This is sensible and constructive. Only now, all your words and arguments seemed to flow away in vain. In fact, it turns out the elucidation for the sake of clarification. Trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong, to nothing. On the contrary, in the process, everything is flipped upside the head, you move away from the essence of the problem, and there is a feeling that you are all-around wrong. Familiar? If so, you should know that these discussions are an example of violation of the limits of personality and manipulative behavior of the partner. Instead of a real discussion, you get a headache, and is not pleased that started it.
3. THE SUCCESS OF THE PARTNER ARE PERCEIVED CRITICALLY — AGGRESSION, ENVY AND DISCONTENT
In a normal relationship partners enjoy the successes of each other, but if the relationship is not the most healthy, one of the signs is the unwillingness to accept the partner’s progress. Psychologists explain this by the desire to control — the potential of a loved one is questioned to enhance this simple way their self-esteem. As we understand it, is a dead end road, which leads to a decrease in self-esteem of the partner and neurotic ways of manipulation.
4. FREQUENT MOOD SWINGS
Mood swings from feverish gaiety until the dramatic tantrums, grandstanding from the stifling love and concern to anger, rage, or ostentatious indifference — is the clearest example of that harmony here. You are never sure what to expect from him? You live on a powder keg? Congratulations — you are on the right track to a clinic of neurosis.
5. THE REFUSAL OF COMMUNICATION, THE BLACKLIST
Each of us has the full right in any relationship to feedback. If the partner you denies it, then he uses one of the most traumatic manipulation, which is particularly fond of sociopaths and abuser, i.e. people with whom a healthy relationship can not be a priori. Failure to explain the reason of the pause in talk, the English, ignoring the calls of the game in silence are all examples of the boycott, which disorientate the victim and driving her crazy. Run until late, because the blacklist is intelligent and cruel way of manipulation.
6. THE DESIRE TO CONTROL
You do not have time to understand how it happened so that he is aware of all your plans, calls, movements. Full knowledge of all the Affairs of the partner — usually the first step on the way to imposing their opinions. As soon as you will require accountability for actions, thoughts and movements, and you will not be able to defend its borders, it will be a serious precedent. Your life will never be the same.
7. YOU HAVE NEW ILLNESS, YOU CONSTANTLY FEEL UNWELL
Remember: our body is very wisely arranged and always responds something goes wrong, malfunctions. Unhealthy relationships are always accompanied by psychosomatic pains — no reason, no reason at all you could have cystitis, gastritis, headaches or cysts.
8. RESENTMENT AND JEALOUSY
Distrust is always a sign that a failure has occurred in the system. Resentment that the partner can enjoy life alone, without you, and even worse, with someone else, is a sign that you have become dependent. To bind a partner, you begin the emotional blackmail that leads to guilt your mate. Further — more. Soon you or partner, depending on who is on which side of the fence, there is the jealousy of friends, family, and then manifested a desire to be the center of the universe. All further can not continue — you become a prisoner of a toxic dependent relationship, which will never bring you joy.
You never noticed how your whole life has become one endless discussion of how hard this is, how you do not appreciate, and so and so. You started to eat a pity, your motto is “All bad”. You clearly understand that the partner does not want to give you all his spare time, he is not giving you the attention that you expected, but instead to interrupt painful relationship, you continuously complain about life friends and are in a permanent depression, or waiting for the next blow. Needless to say that you are stuck in unhealthy relationships who kill you?