Whole life we are taught to think about middle and put the “I” far behind the collective “we”. And all anything, but in some situations, this approach just doesn’t work. Why not just allow themselves to sit on the neck and how to learn to set the right priorities — all the answers in this material.
You have a very lot of cases. More precisely, so: you have too much to do. More precisely, this: so many cases that you have long for them not visible. Sometimes even the feeling that your true purpose is to respond to e-mails marked “urgent” and always leave last. And now add to that social “weighting”, such as Facebook, various chat rooms and emails and you will get a person who doesn’t know what he would eat for lunch, but always knows what you ate for Breakfast, his friends.
You are the one whom colleagues and friends called a superhero. You someone you can call at three in the morning to vent. You are the one who will always help, prompt, will cover and if necessary — correct (and have always). You are the one who solves the problem — often, of course, wrong, because to create takes time, and you do not. In General, you no longer ask yourself about what you want to do, and only do what others want. Of course, these others never demand they ask for.
Calmly and very politely. Well how here to refuse?
The ability to balance between what you need and what others need from you — not an easy task. Step right and that your neck is already sitting a dozen polite people that every five minutes we need your help. Step to the left — and here you are immersed in the abyss of your rich inner world and wanted to spit on everything that is happening around. The output (and exit) from this one only: find the very middle, which will help you understand where you need to drop everything and help your fellow man, and where you need to answer: “No, you go ahead”. Of course, exactly how to behave, it depends on each individual case, but nevertheless there are situations (we counted six) that you should (Yes, should) mute all external noise and to pursue their own desires and needs. Here they are in front of you.
1. You are sick
And now a little bit about Murphy’s law: the cold never comes alone. Usually the increase in temperature is accompanied not only by a cough and sore throat, but super important new project at work, moving friends and off the hot water. And now, instead of lying and quietly doze off in bed, you go from one meeting to another, until three in the morning are presentations, and weekend help friends carry things. According to statistics, only 45% of all people who got the flu last year, took sick leave — the remaining 55% continued to go to work. To go and spread the virus still healthy colleagues. So for your own safety (not to mention the safety of others) don’t come to the office if ill. There is no job that would be more important than your health. Your and your colleagues. Besides rest and proper treatment can work wonders — you will be back much faster if you allow the body to focus on fighting the disease. But the report still is not going anywhere.
2. You (really) want to eat
No, we do not encourage you to run out of the negotiation during a meeting and shouting “disperse!” to race to the vending machine just because you have a growling stomach. But if you are experiencing hunger, and for ten minutes I can’t think of anything but chocolate cake and sandwich, it’s time to press an imaginary button “pause” and get out of the bag, a home-cooked lunch box. Besides, an empty stomach and productive workflow — incompatible: hunger-not only provides focus, but also makes people more distracted and irritable. So if you want to always be in good shape and fully operational, no missed meals and speech can not be. Plan your diet and always keep healthy snacks.
3. You’re tired
It’s hard to be a superhero when tired. It’s hard to be the best of the best, just be yourself. It’s hard to rejoice in each new day, when every night is marked by insomnia. Scientists never tire of repeating: lack of sleep not only makes people distracted and irritable but also weakens the entire immune system of the body. Work is work, friends of friends, and the eight-hour sleep is one of the priorities in the life of any person who wants to be successful and healthy. After all, how you spent the night, depends on how productive your day will be. So the need to go to bed on time should outweigh the desire to respond to work emails, a report to finish and test the tape Facebook.
4. For you put pressure
Career of each person is an alternating really hot seasons and dull seasons — stability is replaced by crisis, and crisis, in turn, becomes the new steps forward and new opportunities for growth. And if the moments of calm perfect for finding new Hobbies and meeting friends, crisis stages, on the contrary, is intended to mobilize all your strength for work. Alas, not always and not all friends can understand and accept this turn of events. They don’t know what it is, and therefore continue to call you to meetings and you persistently continue to refuse. The result of this misunderstanding becomes a mutual resentment — you resent your friends because of their unwillingness to understand your position, and they, in turn, are offended because of your unwillingness to share the hardships of your situation. In order not to create additional problems, speak with your loved ones be honest and explain to them that your disappearance from all your social radar — a forced, but necessary measure. Yes, you’d love to swap the office Desk to the bar, but now we need to concentrate on work.
But remember: if you feel that the fuse that’s out, and the same trait is near, then drop everything, take the day off and call friends. No matter how tight your schedule is, if you need support, find a couple of hours for a meeting is quite real. Communication with those whom you love will not only avoid burnout, but also will be a great “recharge” before the next powerful jerk at work.
5. Someone manipulates you
How often we have to deal with people who sincerely believe that everything around them owe something. Yes, you should be spending your time on them, you must come to their aid at the first call and always answer the phone when they call. You have to, and they, of course, no. And these people love to manipulate — they are, on the one hand, I appeal to you for help, but on the other, from the very beginning make it clear that you, in fact, the choice then and there: you will help, otherwise the feeling of guilt that flashed 25 overs in the speech of the manipulators, with the head will absorb you. It’s certainly fine, but your neck is still not the best vehicle. So when you say things like “If you don’t go with me / don’t do it for me, then you betray me” or “If you don’t help me, then I will die / I’ll be fired”, do not rush to postpone their case to the side. Analyze the situation — if you really has such a crucial importance, then, of course, act. But if this is another attempt to ride at your expense, then the answer should be an unequivocal “no seats”.
6. You gave a promise to myself
What do you snow that you heat you party until the morning and blockages at work, if you decide to swim the Bosphorus this summer and next fall to run his first new York city marathon? That’s right, nothing! If you have a goal, then the whole life will be built in such a way that each day was a step in her direction. We should not think that once you gave a promise to myself to exercise, you should now spit to work to erase the phone numbers of friends and move to the nearest fitness center. Not at all, is the purpose of making the life more orderly and deliberate — you become a more organized person who values their time and does not allow important things go by the wayside. Let’s just say you become an experienced conductor, which allows one instrument to the soloist, while still maintaining a unified sound of the entire orchestra. In this case the main thing — to choose the right goal. A goal that will not wear you, and will do even more.